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Earlier today I rescued a sweet little rat from unhappy circumstances. He was VERY severely wounded; it was a miracle he was still alive when I found him.
So I picked him up (gently!), all scared and hardly moving, and looked him over. Without any intent, my hands lit up as he began pulling Reiki through me... and pulled, and pulled some more. When I tried to focus on it, the flow began to dry up. So, stop focussing.
I held him for a while, as he began to recover, then started bruxing. For non-rat people, "bruxing" is simply the rat grinding his teeth together. It's a sign of contentment, or being happy, similar to a cat's purr.
After he started cleaning himself a bit, and was able to take some food and water, I put him in the isolation cage I keep for sick rats, and left him alone. I came back later for another session, and discovered once again that as long as I wasn't focussed on channelling, it was amazing how much I could feel flowing through me.
After he was done receiving everything he wanted and needed, back to the cage.
A few hours later, he was much more alert, and so I brought him back out once again. And again, that same tremendous, yet gentle, flow of Reiki. I noticed he'd finally stopped bleeding, so applied some of my home-made healing salve. And then continued holding him in my lap, gently cupping my left hand around him as he occassionally rearranged himself to get what he needed, where it was needed. And my hands felt almost painfully tingly.... as long as I wasn't trying to focus. He lay there, ever so gently bruxing.
A little bit ago, he suddenly perked up and started running around my lap, exploring his world. After that, he poked his head back under my hand for more Reiki.. and yet again, that same tingle and flow, as long as I wasn't TRYING.
(At this moment in time he is poking around and exploring again.)
So.. in the space of about 12 hours, he has walked from death's door to a place of hope, and I expect he will be a wonderful new addition to the family of 5 rats I already have. I honestly didn't think he was going to survive.
It's funny, I honestly don't feel like any of this turnaround is because of me, it was because of him, and I was only the energetic conduit.
But it feels like I've witnessed a miracle, from this morning to now.
And there he goes, trying to climb off my lap now.
Typical rat! :D
(Welcome to your new home, little one.)
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I wasn't sure whether to post this under ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bb_ratlings or here, and decided to put it here.
Anyway.. Shaman, the little brown rat who has always been one of the most sensitive rats in the group, was getting progressively more and more depressed after Blackberry's death. He was losing weight, alowing down, and starting to have difficulty breathing, among other things.
This last weekend I was sure he was going to cross over the Rainbow Bridge. I'd seen this before with rats - extremely labored breathing, body starting to go cold, unable to move very much at all.. usually gone within the next twelve hours.
What I've done in the past when I see this happening is hold the rat, and channel some Reiki for them, and let them know how much I love them, and if it's time to move on, so be it. Maybe Reiki will help them let go a little easier.
So.. cradling Shaman in my left arm, petting him gently, letting him know it's OK to stay or go, channelling Reiki. I was keeping an open mind and not putting any intention into the flow, just letting it flow. He relaxed totally, closed his eyes a bit, and soon started bruxing.
For non-rat owners, this is the ratty equivalent of a cat purring. It is when a rat starts grinding their teeth sideways, with a very distinctive sound.. You can feel it in the whole body, with the vibrations. When they really get going, their eyes start popping in and out of their skull. A bit disturbing when you first see it, but once you understand what's going on, it' really cool. :D
Anyway, he was doing the power bruxing, still totally relaxed and content. I held him until he started wriggling to be put back down.
So yeah, he's still not doing all that well, but his energy is better, and he is happier.
The next day, he was still moving around the cage, so I spent time comforting him with petting and more Reiki. He's not having the same problems breathing.
Monday, he's still with us, so more of the same. This morning, he's breathing just fine, is bright eyed and much happier and is putting some of his weight back on. \\\Yay!!///
Love or Reiki? Both? Neither? not sure. doesn't matter.
I *do* know that the choice was up to him, whether to stay or go. I know that Reiki can help either way. This is the first time it seems to have helped a beloved pet decide to stick around for a while.
I'm glad he decided to stick around a while. :)
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Earlier, I tried something I learned in the Level III class. S---- has been sick lately, and I offered Reiki, and he took me up on it. So, I started out with channelling through my hands, and then got a nudge to move on to turning my entire body into a channel. We'd tried it in class, and it seemed to be something the teacher was showing us to try out more on our own.
(Just about all the class fell into that category, where we experienced and tried out a lot of different things, stuffed into three days, and the knowledge and experience was being passed on for us to explore at our own pace after we got back home.)
And so, setting the intent for S--- to receive what he needed, and having S---- intend to receive what he needed, I expanded out the energy to encompass my entire body, and let it flow through me to him. Once I stopped trying to force it, and simply allowed it to go, it felt wonderful.
It felt something like performing reiju, except with a different intent and working with different aspects of the Reiki Energy. I felt Reiki energy enclosing both of us in a great big huge loving Reiki hug, while at the same time I continued chanelling Reiki through my hands to areas that needed more specific attention.
I asked him what it felt like afterward, and he said it was like being under a sun lamp.
I've never experienced an ecstatic Reiki healing session until now. It was beautiful. It wasn't the hands-flinging-up-in-the-air, "hallelujah brother" driven sort of ecstasy; it was more of a very quiet and internal Joy.
It's communion with another soul. The ways and reasons for connecting change, but at the heart it's the connection and the sharing.
Being One with the energy doesn't require you to be in meditation, or any sort of special setup. It can just happen.
On Friday, I was at a gathering at a local coffee shop. Many of the local pagans do this every Friday - it makes for a nice transition between work and weekend. As I was sitting there, I started semi-intentionally channelling Reiki through my entire body, with no more thought than to simply let it go, and for anybody who might want some to take as much as they wanted or needed. I could feel the energy pulling through me very strongly for almost an hour. I didn't get tired at all; if anything, I just kept feeling more energized. And the atmosphere was great - there was lots of laughter and enjoyment, and even some of the group singing songs for the rest of us.
I don't know if I'll be doing this at every Friday coffee gathering, but I'll do it when it seems like a good idea.
Onward with the Journey. :)
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My self-treatment was very different today.
Instead of using symbols and trying to channel specific energy, I simply asked for what I needed at that moment in time, and let the energy flow, and flow, and flow. And I was One with it. I was Reiki, Reiki was me, and it was flowing in and out so wonderfully, and I've never felt that total connection and beautiful slow sacred dance with the energy before.
I saw flowing light and colors, and many different impressions and visions that were dreamlike and seemed like things I needed to release without needing to remembering. It all flowed by, and I simply experienced it as it flowed, not trying to intellectualize or understand it.
For most self-treatments I usually fall asleep, and it's almost an external process, as if the energy were working ON me. This time, I was awake throughout, and I was working WITH the energy, and I finally understood that I don't need to go to another Reiki practitioner to receive the energy, that EVERYTHING I need is right here with me. Of course, I can still go to another energy practitioner if I like... but I don't NEED to. I can continue to use Reiki boxes, but I don't need to. I can continue to work with every other external tool I've been using, but I don't need to.
(The crystal skulls seem different, somehow. I'm not sure why yet, but I'll learn in due time. I think it has something to do with them being teachers.)
The energy clearing this time around feels "sharper", somehow, and I keep seeing images of large rocks being moved out of a stream, as if I've been clearing away all the small stuff before, but now I can finally clear away the big stuff. And yet, while I will experience SOME of it, I don't need to experience ALL of it, and that I can allow the rest to simply flow away and be released, and that these are things I don't need anymore.
Being completely open and trusting and becoming One with the Energy is the key to, and a part of, the process. And the process will happen as it needs to, as it's supposed to, and I don't need to force it, or worry about it.
And from that, everything else flows.
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After completing the Shinpiden course over this past weekend with Frans Stiene, I will never look at Reiki the same way again. It was a spiritual awakening, and my life will never be the same again, especially if I continue working with this new information as devotedly as I did with the old.
I just looked at my last blog about Reiki, and I already disagree with some of the things in there. Heh.
I have a LOT of stuff to process about this, and it's going to take a while.
Fortunately I have several places to go, online and locally, where I can talk about this.
I have only a vague idea as to where I will take this, personally and professionally. I knew I would be able to pass on the necessary attunements after I got back; what I didn't expect is that I wouldn't feel qualified (yet) to pass on the teachings.
I might be qualified to teach Shoden/Level 1. I will need to work more with the different symbols before I feel like I can properly and responsibly teach Okuden/Level 2. Shinpiden/Level 3? Heh. Not for quite a while.
It feels like I've stepped into a new space, and I can (at this moment in time) barely grasp how far I can go in that new space. This new space is infinite, and I will explore it one step at a time.
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In 8 days I fly outta here to Colorado to take the teaching level training for Reiki. I know there's more advanced training above and beyond the first three levels. Karuna comes to mind, but for now, being certified as a Reiki teacher will be more than enough.
I like that the training will be focussed on traditional Japanese methods. In my experience, I've learned that Reiki can't necessarily be bound by "traditional" methods, but I've seen that the Japanese teachings can lay an extremely solid foundation for exploring more and letting Reiki teach you your own style. If it weren't for this foundation, I would be as ungrounded and squirrelly as the freshest Level 1 student. I've seen plenty of practitioners (some even call themselves Masters) who don't seem to believe that meditation is necessary to work with Reiki. They never seem able to calm down, and the energy I'm picking up from them is only partially Reiki. The meditations are absolutely necessary for clearing, and grounding, and shielding, so you can continue to channel the pure Reiki and not mix it with something else. I know there's other energies that can be channelled besides Reiki, but I have a feeling that the non-meditators tend to draw more and more on their own personal power to make up for the Reiki deficit. What an awesome way to burn yourself out, and you'd probably never understand why. ("Bu.. bu.. I was ATTUNED! Why doesn't it work?!? Why am I so sick all the time? Is the attunement broken? etc., etc.)
I will be forever grateful to my teacher for teaching me that solid groundwork I needed. I am grateful to myself for applying the techniques and sticking with it.
My understanding is that if you work with the higher energies, you better damned well be working to keep yourself grounded, or you will be hurting. Meditation is the best way to ground I've found so far. My teacher has taught me the progression should be to learn a few basic meditation techniques in the first level. Then, in the second level, you learn how to combine the techniques, with the sum being much greater than the parts. In third level, which I'll be taking next week, there will be many more advanced techniques to learn.
I don't know all the ways working with Reiki and the combined meditation techniques has helped me. I know it's helping me develop spiritually and I know it's helping me develop psychically. I know there's many more subtle levels its working on also. I don't need to know what they are.... just let it flow, and let it go, and it will do as it will, and ha it will be for my highest Good.
I've been seeing that Reiki will work with everything and make it better. I've seen that it will work with other energies - Reiki blends right in and makes them even more effective. It turns the ordinary into the spiritual. Charging food or water not only makes it taste better (and probably better for you), but it turns the food and water into a sort of sacrament, if you're paying attention. With sex, it will deepen the connection between you and your beloved, beyond what you thought could be possible. Reiki is sort of the ultimate spiritual condiment. :D
The attunement and connection CANNOT be lost, and it will change you forever.
It's helped me understand, finally, what being touched by the Divine is like.
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For me, the best and most intense experiences almost always seem to happen spontaneously. I know this doesn't have much to do with Reiki specifically, but I've noticed this journal has been turning more into a blog of my spiritual Journey, instead of just the Reiki. Eh, it all goes together. :D
This morning, I was intending to sit down and do my usual morning meditation (which is also my usual evening meditation, but that's something for another entry).
I sat in front of the altar, and prepared to start. As I was clearing my mind, getting in the proper headspace, I suddenly felt I needed to instead work through a visualization/meditation a friend had taught me about a week ago.
This exercise is deceptively simple: cross ankles and wrists, with fingertips on brow, then visualize an emotion transformed to a geometric shape. You then become a part of it, while at the same time not allowing it to become yourself (unless it's one you want to bring into yourself).
I started to work with Fear (which, incidentally, in my visualizations, shows as a sort of roundish shape, hunched close to the ground; spiky, painfully so, erratically flashing red and black with random loud sounds, hot and cold, smelling like despair). As I began, I noticed a small figure coming out from behind the shape. I recognized her; I've spent a lot of time being with her, and working with her. It was my Younger Self, who is always part of me, but sometimes likes to be her very own Self.
She/I was afraid, but at the same time daring to trust.
I felt, and saw, the Fear shifting to Compassion. Compassion, in this visualization, was roundish and a pale lime green, soft, fuzzy, warm, gentle, comforting, and loving. The sounds and smells are subtle and indescribable; you wouldn't even be able to notice them unless you were paying attention.
I welcomed her, took her in my arms, hugged her as close as she would allow. We stood up, holding hands, and walked towards Compassion. We walked around it, just experiencing what it had to teach us, then went inside Compassion. As we stood there, I could feel something starting breaking up inside - something that needed to break, something that has been part of the root of the Fear - and tears started to flow. It didn't feel like the usual hopeless weeping, like a child alone in the middle of the night. Instead, it felt incredibly cleansing. We held each other for a while, simply Being, simply loving each other, and accepting ourselves and each other for who we are. I told her/myself I loved her/myself, held her/myself close and just Was, letting the Compassion flow in and out. As we were doing this, the shape of Compassion moved back and forth between embracing us in a sort of group hug to pulling back and just providing a safe place to love each other. It went from pale green to a much deeper green and cycled through shades of green. With the Compassion, I also felt Gratitude for her choosing to be there with me.
When it was time to go, we came back out of Compassion. I thanked her/myself for being there with me, and for being willing to come out and share this with me. I told her she was ALWAYS welcome to come back, whenever she wanted. I let her go, and she walked back behind Compassion and blinked out.
I thanked the Spirits at my altar for guiding me there. (Thank you, O thank you, for this chance to rest for a while.)
I've been savoring this feeling of serenity and love. I know the Fear hasn't magically all gone away, but for the moment I don't have to live with it.
This Journey is magical, and wonderful, and sometimes quite painful, but always worthwhile.
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I originally posted a version of this on my main blog.
Since then, I've revised it, and think putting the end result in my Reiki blog is a better choice.
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The Five Reiki Precepts:
Just for today, do not anger.
Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, work honestly.
Just for today, be grateful.
Just for today, be kind.
The precepts are the core of the Reiki spiritual philosophy. Each practioner has their own version; this is mine. Of course, I like to recite different variations during my meditation; it keeps me from turning the concepts into dogma I never think about once I'm done saying them.
I thought about how these could work with the five elements, and here's the result:
WATER
Give me the Peace to stay serene and allow my anger to flow away
AIR
Give me the Will to stay focused and allow my worry to vanish
EARTH
Give me the Stability to stay grounded and allow my work to keep growing
FIRE
Give me the Passion to stay joyful and allow my gratitude to continue warming me
SPIRIT
Give me the Unconditional Love to stay compassionate and allow my kindness to serve all that lives
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One of my blog posts has been featured in the Carnival of Reiki.
::dances::
It's cool seeing my name in there with some of the best writers in the field. :D
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Something I've been playing around with in my sessions:
If there is something hurt in the person's body, I visualize wrapping the hurt in a colored ribbon of light, after I have channelled Reiki into it. This hurt can be physical, or something like one of the chakras, or even an emotion.
It's a gift that keeps on giving :)
It seems to work very nicely, too.
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"Channel"
(The medium through which a spirit guide purportedly communicates with the physical world.) or the act by which information is received.
I think too many people use it to claim some sort of moral and/or spiritual authority they might not otherwise have. And the guidance they "receive" always seems to be written in inane and flowery language.
I hate saying I'm "channelling" my Reiki guidance (where will my hands go next, what symbols will I use, etc). Or I'm channelling this, or that... it may be that I *am* channelling, but I don't want to claim any sort of otherworldly knowledge or access. I don't know where it's coming from - subconscious, perhaps, or maybe it IS coming in from the spirits. (Actually, I think it is. But I also think that might sound a wee bit delusional, so ultimately... I don't really know.)
I try to use it as little as possible; unfortunately sometimes it's the only way to get the concept across. And then I feel like some sort of pretentious idiot.
Meh.
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The first weekend in December, while apostate_96 was away, I felt it was time to do a couple of important things.
The first one was to burn the 1000 cranes I'd finished a while ago. (!)
The second was to burn a cord that identified me as an initiated member of a local shamanistic group. I needed to break the connection between me and this group, for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's better to just walk away from a relationship, rather than raising a fuss and trying to argue about the way events went down.
OK, back to the burning of the cranes... I know some people would be wondering why the hell I would do such a stupid thing. All the months I spent folding, then stringing them together. It would've been a beautiful monument to peace, and persistence, and etc etc. It would've looked great hanging in my meditation space.
It'd been occuring to me for a while (even as I was folding them), that the important thing was not to have a completed crane sculpture, but rather to finish folding the cranes. Whatever happened to them afterward was just not important.
And so, I finally decided to release them, along with the cord. I didn't think about it at the time, but burning those two things at the same time makes an odd sort of sense. :)
I have a small charcoal grill I use for rituals like this. I lit some incense and called the quarters. Normally I don't bother with the extra ritualistic stuff, but it seemed important this time. Then I piled up some crumpled newspaper in the grill and fired it up. Next, I laid a few crane strands on the fire, and watched them burn as I separated out a few more. Some of the origami paper made for very colorful flames. When the cranes were about half gone, I laid the cord on top. It took a bit to get it to ignite (it was a knotted length of yarn strands). As the cord was burning, I continued to lay more crane strands on top.
During the ceremony, I never had to light the fire again - this always seems like a good sign.
I waited until the fire was totally out, then dismissed the quarters and had a light snack to ground the energies.
I'd felt a tremendous amount of energy being released during the burning. I don't do magickal workings like this very often, but when I do they're always powerful. Heh.. probably BECAUSE I don't do them very often, so they never lose their meaning for me.
The following weekend I took the ashes, sprinkled a few under the guardian rosebush, and the rest over the pet graveyard.
I've barely thought about the group since the cord was burned. (it worked! Hooray!)
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I can't type very well right now, or for very long, but I wanted to at least put down yesterday's Reiki experience.
Quick background: Over the last week I've been dealing qwith vasculitis, which seems to be manifesting itself as a rather extended and very painful allergic reaction. In fact, I don't know if I've ever been in this much physical pain for this extended of a period.
Anyway,
Yesterday, as I was dropping into my Reiki self-treatment, I felt myself cradled in a large set of hands, and a huge sense of detached yet unconditional love and also a huge "echo-ey" feeling that everything was going exactly as it was supposed to, and to not worry.
Very spiritual, bvery comforting, and very unexpected. Nothing like this has happened during one of my sessions before.
But I think I badly needed to experience it.
(Incidentally, the Reiki session after that was more of a coma, and I felt very much that work had been done on a very deep level while I was out.)
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I learned this technique from a friend a couple of days ago. It clears out the chakras, and the energy flows SO much smoooooother.
- Visualize a ball of yarn in your power hand (that's the hand you feel the most energy from, usually the one you write with). If you like, you can visualize it to be multicolored - all the chakra colors - or one single color - or whatever seems to work for you.
- Loosely hold that ball of yarn down by your pubic bone (by your root chakra).
- With your other hand, visualize it grabbing hold of the end of the yarn that just happens to be poking out of the top of the ball.
- Pull it straight up above your head.
- With your power hand, hold the ball of yarn tightly, so no more yarn can come out.
- With your other hand, pull the yarn tight.
That's it! It takes much longer to explain than to actually do it.
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Animals and Reiki.... I think these would be a great way to show somebody that there IS something to Reiki. After all, animals are programmed to believe or disbelieve, all they know is what they feel.
At one friend's place, I was sending her distant Reiki. (I've learned that distant Reiki, even in the same room, is more comfortable and efficient for me.) Anyway, as the energy was being channeled, one of her cats came in and started rolling around and purring. When she came out of it, she mentioned that particular cat was sensitive to the energies.
At another friend's house, one of the cats came in. According to my friend, this cat was a grump who didn't like many people or being around them. I started channelling Reiki to him, and he rolled around a bit, purring, then lay down very still. I came closer, and channelled Reiki. When he had had enough of it, he got up and walked away.
At a party, I surreptitiously channelled Reiki to the house dog. He rolled over, and stayed like that for about 5 minutes, soaking up the Reiki, then got up and went someplace else.
In every case, I was never touching the animal.
At home, Mo's dealing with a hurt paw/leg. Yesterday, I came out of the bathroom, and there she was, waiting for me with her injured paw stretched out. So I channelled Reiki, and she soaked it up. When she had had enough, she pulled out her paw from under my hands and went someplace else.
Today, one of the little ratlings had a wound to his foot. I isolated him. I've channelled Reiki to him several times, and also applied healing salve. By the third time I channelled to him, the swelling had gone down noticeably. And he kept positioning himself so the injury would be right under my hands. I could feel a decent amount of energy going to him, but when his companion moved between him and the Reiki flow, interestingly, I felt it stop, until I could place my hands back near the injured one. When he had gotten enough Reiki, he moved the injury away from my hands.
I seem to have a talent for working with animals using Reiki, and I really enjoy it. I wonder how easy it would be to get something like that started as a sideline?
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I did it. I've been folding origami cranes for a bit less than 4 months, and have finally completed 1000 cranes.
Here's a link to one of the stories of the 1000 cranes. I knew of the story, and have known how to fold cranes for years, but it didn't really gel until I found a kit that provided paper and assembly instructions. I started the cranes a week or two after buying the kit, and haven't stopped folding since then.
I'm still clearing a lot of emotional issues. Folding the cranes has been one of the things that's been helpful - more helpful, in fact, than I initially imagined.
My next step will be to string the cranes together into a large mobile. The final result will look like a crane "waterfall", and I will hang it someplace in the house. It will be a beautiful reminder of peace, and dedication, and commitment, and that something that seems like it will last forever, in the beginning, will eventually have an end - one crane at a time.
I will be posting pictures later on. I just wanted to make an entry commemorating the completion.
My next project will be a group effort, and will probably last more than 4 months, depending on how many people my friend and I can recruit. We will be compiling a list of American military casualties in Iraq, and folding one crane for each of the fallen. I've already ordered a LOT of origami paper, and am planning on teaching volunteers how to fold cranes, if they don't already know.
As of this moment, there are 3511 American casualties. That's going to be a lot of cranes. Unfortunately, I expect there will be more.
apostate_96 has already volunteered to be a part (thank you). I know there's not many who read this LJ, so I will be posting something to my donkey_hokey account, asking for volunteers, as well as posting to local groups who might be interested. The goal is to get 10-20 volunteers who would be willing to give up one evening a week. Anyway, I'll save it for the other post.
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I'd been struggling with a nasty sinus infection for a while, and finally got a prescription for heavy-duty antibiotics once the doctor figured it out.
Whenever I've taken antibiotics in the past, I've always had to deal with some nasty side effects, even if I took probiotics during the treatment.
This time, however, was the first time I've been able to charge the capsules with Reiki before taking them.
I finished the antibiotic course a couple of days ago, and am pleased (and relieved) to say I had NO side effects at all. It did what I needed it too, and nothing more.
Hooray for Reiki.
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So.. I've stopped working with the boxes for the time being, in favor of working with old photos of myself.
I feel like I need to go more into the past and to the roots of where I am right now.
The mechanics are similar to working with the boxes - asking for protection, symbols, kotodama, etc, but the experience is much more primal. I'm not working with single photos, but rather one of those multi-picture frames, with pictures in it of me at different ages. One picture is of me at 3 (?), another at 6 (?), another in junior high, another my high school graduation picture, and the last is me sometime between 20 and 25 years old. The original intent was to have something to remind myself of my past. Recently it came to my attention I needed to start channelling Reiki to these pictures, into my past, and help heal them and me.
The first time I tried it, after a while of being in the Reiki trance, I could "see" a thick grey fog, and many cords coming out of my hands and going off into the fog.
The second time I did it cooperatively with apostate_96, and the only thing I really experienced was a tremendous amount of energy channelling into those pictures.
Last night the experience was very intense. I saw the grey fog, as I did the first time, then started seeing a few old memories, and was able to get in touch with the younger versions of me. Mostly it was high school and younger. Then, out of the fog, I saw running towards me a much younger version of myself - the 6 year old version. She/I was crying (so was I, in the Present), and came up and flung herself into my arms, and I felt very strongly I NEEDED to give her a hug. I gave her a hug in my mind, told her I loved her, held her and cuddled her, made her feel welcome, and outside of the trance I hugged myself as tightly as I could. I had a very strong feeling I'd reclaimed a piece of myself.
At other times in trance, I could feel a huge amount of fear, and pain, and anger, coming from high school Self, and fear and confusion and a tremendous "WHY" coming from the 3-year-old Self, and nothing from any other pieces of mySelf.
During the work last night, I burned a small silver candle. The whole thing continued until the candle went out, and then I felt drawn to do a session of hatsurei-ho, as a sort of grounding procedure.
I will continue with this work. It's not going to be easy, but it's necessary. And the pieces will come back to me when it's time.
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OK, every entry prior to this has been transferred from my community ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) ariel_journey.
(My first gratitude of the day goes to Semagic for making the process much less painful than it could be.)
I still need to fix a few things - appearance, emoticons, etc. But all entries (except the last one, informaing readers of the new location) have been successfully transferred over. Although it was sorely tempting to fix the few grammatical and spelling errors I discovered, I avoided the temptation. The only thing I couldn't successfully transfer were the comments.
The main reason I transferred this is so I can use LJ Book to keep offline archives to my hard drive.
Onward and upward.
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A while ago, I posted about creating and working with Reiki boxes.
Soon ather that post, I got the materials - paper boxes, a box of kid's watercolors, stickers, and glitter glue - and made two boxes. I haven't taken pictures of them yet, but I will (hopefully soon) and post them to the community. I will be making more boxes, but these ones seemed the most important to start with.
I also picked up a stack of half-size, colored index cards, with the intent that each one would have an individual need/person/whatever written on it.
One of the boxes was created to hold amends I needed to make to people; people I'd felt that I'd done wrong to at some point in my life. The intent of this box was to send an apology back to that person, and to release the shame and guilt I felt over what I'd done to them.
The other box held situations and people I've survived throughout the years. The intent of this box was to send back a little something to myself to help me get through those particular times, and to help me release my anger and shame and pain associated with them in the present time, but at the same time keep the lessons I learned from walking through those fires.
I filled out cards and stacked them up. Because ritual seems to appeal to my Inner Younger Self (it makes it special, don't you know! heh), I set up a little ritual space, complete with casting circle, smudging, lighting incense and candles, etc. And it's Younger Self (who is part of me) who seems to be the one in charge of the energy work, so of course I need to make it special for her, which means us.
Anyway, before placing a card in a box, I traced symbol 1 over it, and talked to the card, and poured everything into it I could in regards to what was written on it. I spoke my memories, and my apologies, and my thanks, and anything else that seemed appropriate, and channeled energy into the card, and when it was done, placed the card in the box. I did this for approximately 15 cards.
After I was done with the last card, I had a little bit to eat and drink, to ground out, then took down the circle. I let the candles burn out on their own (the incense was already done). I then perfomed the reiki dry-brush technique to disconnect from the whole thing for a while. I felt pretty limp after all that; I'd poured quite a lot of myself into those cards.
Starting the next day, and still going on now, I began working with the boxes. One at a time, I would put the box in front of me (sometimes with a crystal skull or grid behind the box), and go through the standard procedure for a Reiki session - ask guides for protection/help/etc, trace the three symbols over it, and place my hands over the box. As I placed my hands on the box, I would ask for the pain to be released, and for the lessons to be kept. My hands would become "stuck" to the box, and I would go into the standard Reiki trance, and get lost in the energy.
As the energy was channelled through me, I would feel stuff releasing. It's a little hard to describe the feeling - it's a sort of an internal swoosh, and my ears tingle and it feels like SOMETHING'S leaving, a piece of me, but one I need to let go of. After a while of this, tears will start coming out of my eyes, and I'll feel an emotional shadow of what's going. After maybe 7 minutes or so, I will suddenly "wake up", and my hands will be pushed away from the box.
Then I repeat it with the second box.
Sometimes, I get the feeling I'm done with a particular card. I will muscle test on each card, and there'll be at least one. Sometimes I know which card it is, beforehand, and the muscle testing is just to confirm it. I take the card, and burn it in a fireproof dish, then mix the ashes with water and pour it on the dirt outside, or occasionally in the toilet. And when I think about the person, or situation, again, just about all of the painful emotions associated with it aren't there anymore.
A few weeks ago I finished with the amends box, though as memories keep coming up, I will be working with it again. I'm still working on the survival box, and I add a new card to it every so once in a while.
I've also learned that some of those cards can't be burnt until I talk about what's on them with S. I'm very grateful he's willing to listen, and not hold any of it against me (or use it against me). (thank you)
I feel that it's time to create a couple more boxes - a manifestation box, and a box to help release personal habits.
I have rose bushes to prune today, so it will keep for a while.
But this has worked out much better than I thought it would. I finally feel like I've truly broken through some internal logjams.
Some people would say this is some sort of placebo effect. I prefer to think differently; I've felt the energy working through, and for me.
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peaceful
awake
contemplative
self-loved
creative
Whee!
bedtime!
brain zaps galore
accomplished
drained
good
woo hoo!